I've decided to bring Sleeved In The City back to life! While I know most of you either follow my journey on Instagram or the SITC Facebook page, I've decided to make this my main forum once again.
At the present moment I'm looking at a few cosmetic upgrades for SITC so bear with me while I'll do a small update & redesign. The material will still be the same, I just need it a bit more streamlined.
Besos -
Shari
Sunday, March 30, 2014
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
The Kill
There are two things guaranteed in life; change and death. Clearly Im not dead. They say everything happens for a reason but I often think that's just a bullshit line we tell ourselves to become more accepting of the crap that happens to us. I'm ok with change as long as I have some control over it, if its change Ive initiated. The other "life happens" change is another story. That kind of change drives me crazy and makes me question all my previous actions and decisions. It makes me question myself as a person, as a success, as a failure. That kind of change brings out the unknown and if I cant see it then I dont trust it. You can only go thru so much change before you reach a breaking point. We all break in different ways and Lord knows I've been chipped at enough in my short life to last 5 lifetimes over. Its made me strong but even the strongest of exteriors weaken over time.
That brings me to my current situation. Last month I found out that my office is closing on August 11th and 348 of us will lose our jobs. As an adult, I've never been unemployed before. Ever. To me this is not an option. It is not acceptable. So whats the big deal you say? Chicago unemployment sucks and wont cover my rent. I have no friends and family here. So I decided to move back to Dallas and get back on my feet, it wasn't my first option but the only one I had. Then after making that choice (and announcing it) my job offered me a great opportunity (and lucrative transfer package) to transfer to another office in Texas, a few hours away from home. After verifying my eligibility with several sources, including my manager and HR representatives, I signed up and began the process to relocate once again (announced it too). I felt great about this, it solved my employment problem and kept me from having to live with my parents again.
So I started making the necessary arrangements. I paid a very hefty sum to get out of my apartment here and placed a deposit on a new place, I was simply waiting for the relocating company to contact me for further instruction. After not hearing anything for a week and finding out other co-workers had received their packages I became concerned and reached out to HR. It was then that they informed me of an issue concerning a few days missed back in May. Yes, MAY. No one has been able to tell me why they didn't inform me of any impending issues and why I have an email from a manager telling me I'm eligible but they wont honor. Long story short, my company has deemed me ineligible to transfer. I'm appealing but I think its useless. I've been working directly with my HR manager and yes she is aware of all the steps I've already completed. I was told by a third party that right now they stand to pay $1.5 million in relocation packages, about half more than they were looking to and they are looking to "trim the fat" and looking for loopholes. Not surprising for a company who publicly announced a total of 4,000 layoffs in cost-cutting efforts.
So now after announcing to the world and making plans, everything has changed and I have to start over. But lets add a few twists in this shall we? I received a note on my door telling my apartment has been preleased and I have to vacate by the date listed. Luckily I can get part of my deposit back from the new place but that will take weeks and moving there anyways without a job is financial suicide. So now not only am I jobless, Im homeless now too. Oh, I also look like the most unstable person ever. One week its this, another week its that, now its something else. And to add insult to injury I now have to move back in with my parents. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents more than anything and it will do my heart good to see them and be around them but this deflates my ego, strips my of my independence and makes me feel like a humongous fucking failure. Its one thing when you first CHOOSE to move back home but completely different when being forced into doing so. Im 36 years old, I shouldn't be in positions like this. Im being forced into life changes that are detrimental to everything Ive worked so hard to build, to the person Ive sweat blood and tears to become.
Im SO tired of hearing how strong of a person I am. I know this. I know I will bounce back. I will find a job. I will get a new place. I will be successful once again. I KNOW THIS. Im like a cat, I always land on my feet. Im just tired of hearing about it. The anger and frustration is mounting in me and some days I feel like Im hanging on by a thread. Im running myself to the point of exhaustion, Im working out until failure. Anything to make it better and nothing is working. But I need to feel like this. I need to find my footing, find my way, reignite that spark that's quickly going out. I also need to do it alone. In my head. No interference. So Im going radio silent. No Facebook. No Twitter. No Instagram. No social media. Not until I've got a clear path again and that may be a week, a month, or a year - at this point I don't know. I may blog from time to time depending on the level of relief writing can give me at the time. We'll see. In the meantime, thanks for hanging in there with me, thanks for reading and for listening.
Oh and for those who are wondering about the title of this post - it refers to my favorite 30 Seconds To Mars song. I cant put my feelings and emotion into a better format right now than that song.
Until next time -
That brings me to my current situation. Last month I found out that my office is closing on August 11th and 348 of us will lose our jobs. As an adult, I've never been unemployed before. Ever. To me this is not an option. It is not acceptable. So whats the big deal you say? Chicago unemployment sucks and wont cover my rent. I have no friends and family here. So I decided to move back to Dallas and get back on my feet, it wasn't my first option but the only one I had. Then after making that choice (and announcing it) my job offered me a great opportunity (and lucrative transfer package) to transfer to another office in Texas, a few hours away from home. After verifying my eligibility with several sources, including my manager and HR representatives, I signed up and began the process to relocate once again (announced it too). I felt great about this, it solved my employment problem and kept me from having to live with my parents again.
So I started making the necessary arrangements. I paid a very hefty sum to get out of my apartment here and placed a deposit on a new place, I was simply waiting for the relocating company to contact me for further instruction. After not hearing anything for a week and finding out other co-workers had received their packages I became concerned and reached out to HR. It was then that they informed me of an issue concerning a few days missed back in May. Yes, MAY. No one has been able to tell me why they didn't inform me of any impending issues and why I have an email from a manager telling me I'm eligible but they wont honor. Long story short, my company has deemed me ineligible to transfer. I'm appealing but I think its useless. I've been working directly with my HR manager and yes she is aware of all the steps I've already completed. I was told by a third party that right now they stand to pay $1.5 million in relocation packages, about half more than they were looking to and they are looking to "trim the fat" and looking for loopholes. Not surprising for a company who publicly announced a total of 4,000 layoffs in cost-cutting efforts.
So now after announcing to the world and making plans, everything has changed and I have to start over. But lets add a few twists in this shall we? I received a note on my door telling my apartment has been preleased and I have to vacate by the date listed. Luckily I can get part of my deposit back from the new place but that will take weeks and moving there anyways without a job is financial suicide. So now not only am I jobless, Im homeless now too. Oh, I also look like the most unstable person ever. One week its this, another week its that, now its something else. And to add insult to injury I now have to move back in with my parents. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents more than anything and it will do my heart good to see them and be around them but this deflates my ego, strips my of my independence and makes me feel like a humongous fucking failure. Its one thing when you first CHOOSE to move back home but completely different when being forced into doing so. Im 36 years old, I shouldn't be in positions like this. Im being forced into life changes that are detrimental to everything Ive worked so hard to build, to the person Ive sweat blood and tears to become.
Im SO tired of hearing how strong of a person I am. I know this. I know I will bounce back. I will find a job. I will get a new place. I will be successful once again. I KNOW THIS. Im like a cat, I always land on my feet. Im just tired of hearing about it. The anger and frustration is mounting in me and some days I feel like Im hanging on by a thread. Im running myself to the point of exhaustion, Im working out until failure. Anything to make it better and nothing is working. But I need to feel like this. I need to find my footing, find my way, reignite that spark that's quickly going out. I also need to do it alone. In my head. No interference. So Im going radio silent. No Facebook. No Twitter. No Instagram. No social media. Not until I've got a clear path again and that may be a week, a month, or a year - at this point I don't know. I may blog from time to time depending on the level of relief writing can give me at the time. We'll see. In the meantime, thanks for hanging in there with me, thanks for reading and for listening.
Oh and for those who are wondering about the title of this post - it refers to my favorite 30 Seconds To Mars song. I cant put my feelings and emotion into a better format right now than that song.
Until next time -
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Friend Makin' Mondays (On A Wednesday): Twenty Questions
Needless to say Monday was a bad day and I didn't feel right about posting something that seemed so trivial in light of current events. So thanks to a late night puppy ER trip, I'm at home and finding myself at home for the day and able to catch up. Now for this weeks topic:
If you've take part
in FMM before then you know the routine. If you're new, simply take a moment to
answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments
section at All The Weigh - encourage your
readers to do the same and we can all connect.
1. Share something that you enjoy doing when you’re alone.
Painting my nails
2. What do you plan to eat next? Chicken fajitas
3. When did you first travel on a plane? Where did you go? I can't recall how old I was but it was a quickie flight from San Antonio to Dallas - I think I was 12 or 13 maybe.
4. Do you currently have a crush on someone? If so, share a few of the reasons why. I wont call it a crush but I'm intrigued by someone - mostly because I like what I've found out and when I first met this person I didn't like them at all. Due to an age gap and not knowing individual situations, its unlikely to go anywhere. However, it has made me reconsider my whole "no dating" thing.
5. List one thing that disgusts you that probably wouldn’t bother someone else. Mushrooms.
6. If you could buy a new car tomorrow (and money was no object) what would you buy? Bugatti Veyron - just like this. Anyone have an extra $1.5 mil laying around?
Twenty Questions
Painting my nails
2. What do you plan to eat next? Chicken fajitas
3. When did you first travel on a plane? Where did you go? I can't recall how old I was but it was a quickie flight from San Antonio to Dallas - I think I was 12 or 13 maybe.
4. Do you currently have a crush on someone? If so, share a few of the reasons why. I wont call it a crush but I'm intrigued by someone - mostly because I like what I've found out and when I first met this person I didn't like them at all. Due to an age gap and not knowing individual situations, its unlikely to go anywhere. However, it has made me reconsider my whole "no dating" thing.
5. List one thing that disgusts you that probably wouldn’t bother someone else. Mushrooms.
6. If you could buy a new car tomorrow (and money was no object) what would you buy? Bugatti Veyron - just like this. Anyone have an extra $1.5 mil laying around?
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| Image courtesy Google |
7. Who was the first person who broke your heart? Alf when he left Earth for Planet Melmac.
8. If you could spend the night with a celebrity tonight, who would it be? 50 Cent - he just looks like he can get down LOL
9. Are you a morning person or a night person? While I’m definitely a night person, I'm trying to change that (all attempts thus far have been unsuccessful).
10. What’s your favorite board game? Monopoly!
11. Can you play an instrument? If so, what do you play? Does my CD player count?
12. What is the last thing you ate? Breakfast taco with refried beans, eggs, cheese and Sriracha.
13. Do you wear a watch? No, I don't like the feel of anything on my wrists.
14. Do you go to church? I used to in Texas but I haven't found a Church home in Chicago.
15. Do you ever wish on stars? Yes.
16. Have you ever been on a motorcycle? Yes, sport and cruisers.
17. What is the last thing you purchased? An extension cord.
18. How big is your bed? Queen.
19. What size shoe do you wear? I used to wear a 9 but now Im between an 8 and 8.5. These awesome shoes are a 7.5 so Im still fluctuating from all the weight being gone (yay!).
20. What are you looking forward to most in the coming week?
Iron Man 3! 05.03.13
That wraps up this weeks questions. As always don't forget to link back up so we can all share!
Have a great rest of the week!
8. If you could spend the night with a celebrity tonight, who would it be? 50 Cent - he just looks like he can get down LOL
.jpg) |
| Image courtesy Google |
9. Are you a morning person or a night person? While I’m definitely a night person, I'm trying to change that (all attempts thus far have been unsuccessful).
10. What’s your favorite board game? Monopoly!
11. Can you play an instrument? If so, what do you play? Does my CD player count?
12. What is the last thing you ate? Breakfast taco with refried beans, eggs, cheese and Sriracha.
13. Do you wear a watch? No, I don't like the feel of anything on my wrists.
14. Do you go to church? I used to in Texas but I haven't found a Church home in Chicago.
15. Do you ever wish on stars? Yes.
16. Have you ever been on a motorcycle? Yes, sport and cruisers.
17. What is the last thing you purchased? An extension cord.
18. How big is your bed? Queen.
19. What size shoe do you wear? I used to wear a 9 but now Im between an 8 and 8.5. These awesome shoes are a 7.5 so Im still fluctuating from all the weight being gone (yay!).
20. What are you looking forward to most in the coming week?
Iron Man 3! 05.03.13
That wraps up this weeks questions. As always don't forget to link back up so we can all share!
Have a great rest of the week!
Monday, April 8, 2013
Friend Makin' Mondays: TV, Movies and Me
I've been down with the flu all week so I missed out on last weeks FMM. I just didn't have the strength or desire to sit in front of my computer for any length of time. Thank goodness for auto-post or the few recipes I put up wouldn't have gone out. Happy to report I'm feeling much better and ready to get this week started so I can get it finished and onto the weekend! Is it just me or does your job REALLY interfere with your life too? Note to self - buy a lotto ticket. Now onto this weeks topic:
If you've take part
in FMM before then you know the routine. If you're new, simply take a moment to
answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments
section at All The Weigh - encourage your
readers to do the same and we can all connect.
TV, Movies and Me
 |
| Image courtesy of Google |
2. Name the movie that you are most embarrassed to admit that you love. Twilight. I could watch it 100 times and never be bored. Ok maybe a little, but not by much.
3. Name one show that you’ve never seen and would love to watch. I have no idea, I rarely watch TV, as in I turn it on maybe 4 times a month. Sad, I know. I've never seen the Tudors and I heard it was really good so we'll go with that.
4. Do you ever go to movies alone? All the time. I actually prefer it, last time I went with someone they talked thru the whole movie. It doesn't help that I hate chick flicks so most of my friends aren't up to seeing all my action/horror/epic films.
5. If you could only watch one TV show for the next year, which show would you choose and why? I have no idea. I only watch 3 shows: Vampire Diaries, Game of Thrones and Sons of Anarchy. I'm going to have to cross my fingers and hope this never happens because I cant choose from all of this awesomeness!
6. If you could star in one reality show, which one would it be and why? I wouldn't. I just don't understand the concept of taking an hour out of my life to watch someone else's - and all the staged conflict that goes along with it.
7. If someone rented a billboard for you, what would it say? Duh =)
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| Image courtesy of Google |
8. Who is the most famous person with whom you have been in the same room? Not the most famous but definitely my favorite - the San Antonio Spurs! I love my boys! Playoffs, baby!!!!
9. If you were chosen to be a contestant on a TV game show, which show would you want to be on? Family Fued
10. If there was a movie being made about you, which actor would you choose to play you? Angelina Jolie. I imagine she's as awesome as I am ;)
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| Image courtesy of Google |
Well that wraps up this weeks topic. Don't forget to link back and have a great week!
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Honey Glazed Carrots
Last week Aldi had a mega-sale on baby carrots (a pound for $.49) and I may have bought 6 pounds. Carrots are my go-to for when I want something crunchy but after the first 3 pounds I was looking for new ways to consume them. I made a small ham for Easter and thought a side of glazed carrots would be great so I scoured the interwebs and I found this amazing little recipe on Cooks.com - not only is it easy but by far the best cooked carrot dish I've eaten!
Calories: 139 | Protein: 2 | Carbs: 21 | Fat:
6
Serves 4
You'll need:
Then you'll:
In a medium saucepan, bring water to a boil. Add salt and then carrots and cook until tender, 5 to 6 minutes. Drain the carrots and add back to pan with butter, honey and lemon juice. Cook until a glaze coats the carrots, 5 minutes. Season with salt and pepper and garnish with parsley.
Happy Cooking!
Sexless in the City {mature content}
I don't often discuss my personal life here but after a revelation I made in a previous Friend Making Mondays post and all the positive feedback I received from it I decided to open the door a bit more.
I'm celibate.
And have been for almost 3 years now.
That's right. Zip, zilch, nada. (Not even solo for those wondering)
Uncomfortable yet?
Funny how the subject of celibacy makes many a person squirm in their seat.
Our society is so assbackwards these days (hence the celibacy).
So let's address the first question on everyones mind -why? It has nothing to do with religion or God or marriage (not saying there's anything wrong with that- just not the originating driving force). I'm not waiting for a husband or my soul mate. I'm waiting until I'm ready, until I meet someone who can appreciate the value I place on myself but more importantly someone who places those same values on himself.
We all have a past. Celibacy doesn't erase that. I'm not an innocent by any and Im not judging anyone who lives a different lifestyle than my own. Sex is great, I just don't need sex to feel great about myself. Big difference and unfortunately people often confuse the two.
That's actually how this all started.
I was seeing someone at the time I jumped the sex ship. We weren't in a traditional relationship but we were committed bed buddies. We were about 8 months into our "relationship" when one morning I woke up and rolled over and just stared at him and everything changed. I asked myself what I was doing laying with a man I had no desire to be in a relationship with. I shouldn't feel empty after sex. I should be with someone who fulfills me emotionally and the sex becomes an extension of that.
Anything less and I was wasting my time.
Keep in mind dude had it going on. There was absolutely NO other reason for me to abandon this. He was kind, funny, stable and hot - think a slightly skinnier version of Tyson Beckford if you will. It could have easily turned it into a relationship, we had even tiptoed around the topic before. So I told him I needed a break, that I needed to figure out some things and I'd keep him in the loop along the way - I honestly figured I'd go back.
I tried like hell to figure it out. I mean why all of the sudden does someone go from hot to cold without an apparent reason. I made lists and talked to friends and still couldn't figure it out. I thought like a girl and analyzed like a guy. Still nothing.
And then it hit me. Like a ton. of. bricks.
I was asking the wrong questions - in the wrong order. Who cared if it was something HE did, or what was wrong with HIM.
How about why did I get with him in the first place. Why did I find him so special. What did I need from him at the time.
All fingers pointed back at me.
That really sucked.
Truth is I was looking for emotional fulfillment. Before meeting him I had gotten out of a relationship that ended badly - I didn't chose him for HIM, I chose him to make ME feel better/special/pretty/worthy/wanted. In other words, all the wrong reasons.
So I made another list. Self-respect, honor, self-love, value, cherish.
The list was titled "Things I Need To Learn To Do For Myself"
If I don't love, cherish, and respect myself then no one else will either. It starts with me. I needed to get myself together, spend time alone and really learn all about me. I haven't regretted it once.
But there are other reasons for my celibacy too.
Sex can kill you.
Condom or no condom it takes just one broken one and that's all she wrote.
Music and television often glorify sex taking the value from it.
No Kim K, it is NOT ok for you to be knocked up by one man while still married to another.
Cheating should NEVER be expected. Or allowed.
It's sad but the truth is we live in a very disposable society.
I just choose not to be a disposable person.
I'm celibate.
And have been for almost 3 years now.
That's right. Zip, zilch, nada. (Not even solo for those wondering)
Uncomfortable yet?
Funny how the subject of celibacy makes many a person squirm in their seat.
Our society is so assbackwards these days (hence the celibacy).
So let's address the first question on everyones mind -why? It has nothing to do with religion or God or marriage (not saying there's anything wrong with that- just not the originating driving force). I'm not waiting for a husband or my soul mate. I'm waiting until I'm ready, until I meet someone who can appreciate the value I place on myself but more importantly someone who places those same values on himself.
We all have a past. Celibacy doesn't erase that. I'm not an innocent by any and Im not judging anyone who lives a different lifestyle than my own. Sex is great, I just don't need sex to feel great about myself. Big difference and unfortunately people often confuse the two.
That's actually how this all started.
I was seeing someone at the time I jumped the sex ship. We weren't in a traditional relationship but we were committed bed buddies. We were about 8 months into our "relationship" when one morning I woke up and rolled over and just stared at him and everything changed. I asked myself what I was doing laying with a man I had no desire to be in a relationship with. I shouldn't feel empty after sex. I should be with someone who fulfills me emotionally and the sex becomes an extension of that.
Anything less and I was wasting my time.
Keep in mind dude had it going on. There was absolutely NO other reason for me to abandon this. He was kind, funny, stable and hot - think a slightly skinnier version of Tyson Beckford if you will. It could have easily turned it into a relationship, we had even tiptoed around the topic before. So I told him I needed a break, that I needed to figure out some things and I'd keep him in the loop along the way - I honestly figured I'd go back.
I tried like hell to figure it out. I mean why all of the sudden does someone go from hot to cold without an apparent reason. I made lists and talked to friends and still couldn't figure it out. I thought like a girl and analyzed like a guy. Still nothing.
And then it hit me. Like a ton. of. bricks.
I was asking the wrong questions - in the wrong order. Who cared if it was something HE did, or what was wrong with HIM.
How about why did I get with him in the first place. Why did I find him so special. What did I need from him at the time.
All fingers pointed back at me.
That really sucked.
Truth is I was looking for emotional fulfillment. Before meeting him I had gotten out of a relationship that ended badly - I didn't chose him for HIM, I chose him to make ME feel better/special/pretty/worthy/wanted. In other words, all the wrong reasons.
So I made another list. Self-respect, honor, self-love, value, cherish.
The list was titled "Things I Need To Learn To Do For Myself"
If I don't love, cherish, and respect myself then no one else will either. It starts with me. I needed to get myself together, spend time alone and really learn all about me. I haven't regretted it once.
But there are other reasons for my celibacy too.
Sex can kill you.
Condom or no condom it takes just one broken one and that's all she wrote.
Music and television often glorify sex taking the value from it.
No Kim K, it is NOT ok for you to be knocked up by one man while still married to another.
Cheating should NEVER be expected. Or allowed.
It's sad but the truth is we live in a very disposable society.
I just choose not to be a disposable person.
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Cake Batter Protein Shake
I found this recipe on Pinterest (original recipe here) and wasn't expecting much when I first saw it but my curiosity was peaked at the use of cottage cheese and sugar-free jello so I gave it a shot.
Oh.Em.Gee.
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Calories: 187 | Protein: 35 | Carbs: 5 | Fat:
2
Serving size: 1 shake
You'll need:
1/2 cup low fat cottage cheese
1 scoop vanilla protein powder
3-5 drops butter or almond extract
1 tbsp. vanilla sugar free instant Jell-O pudding mix
3-5 packets sweetener (I used Splenda)
1/2 cup - 1 cup water (alter for desired consistency)
5-10 ice cubes (also alter for consistency - use less for thinner shake)
Optional:
1/2 tsp. xanthan gum (I used guar gum and works just as well)
Sprinkles for topping
Then you'll:
Place all ingredients into blender and blend until smooth and creamy. Pour into glass, add sprinkles and serve.
Happy Blending!
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